Not Alone
by Lariren-Shadow
Summary: Ever since Eowyn lost her parents when she was seven, she has experienced so many triumphs and defeats in her life. But now when the future is truly in her hands, will she be able to overcome her fears, and embrace the fact that she is not alone?
1. Not Alone

Disclaimer: I don't own these people, capishe? The estate of J.R.R. Tolkien does with a lease to AOL/Time Warner.

A/N: Ah this is my 13th story. That is all I really have to say, and the election results are in. Do with them what you may and I have an opinion but will not put it till the end of this. So no bais in reading this.

* * *

I walk alone in one of the gardens of Emyn Arnen. The grass feels cool and softly damp under my bare feet. The night is cool, not cold, and just bearable. The breeze does not bother me, never could such a light blowing. But I am too lost in thought to feel the night air or to see anything around me. The moon casts a pale blue light upon the ground and around me, thought I do not see it.  
  
I take a deep breath and breathe in the soft scent of burning wood mixed with the cold air. I stop to admire the smell, it reminds me of my childhood. Not just with my Uncle, but before I went to Edoras, to a time that was happier for me.  
  
The smell triggers memories of my mother, of whom I can remember only simple memories. Of my father, the same is true. Then the unbidden memories, the sadness of losing both, the knowing that my father would never come home, that my mother would never be the same. She would never sing to me again, never could I run to my father when he came home and jump into his arms. To know that the good comes with the bad was a hard lesson to learn. To know that your whole world was gone, when you were just seven, was hard to understand.  
  
To watch a parent wither through the eyes of a child was horrible. To know that something was wrong, yet no one would tell you what it was. To wish to help, but be put in a separate room, ushered outside, away from everything. My brother was a comfort, he knew what I was thinking and would try to tell me everything was going to be fine. But he was eleven, and was going through what I was as well. He tried, and would hold me when I cried, and told me I was not weak for crying, that he would too, sometimes at night. Yet come morning, never admit it to anyone else.  
  
After both my parents were gone, my brother and I went to Edoras. I developed the facade that I wore, until recently, within a year. To be unfeeling, not let my emotions known. To prepare for battle, to fight. A part of me wanted to avenge my parents deaths, for I found out later what had happened to my father. I still wanted to be like my brother and saw no reason why I should not be allowed to be able to train with him.  
  
I try to go back to the time before all this, to remember what my mother was like. To try to see how a mother acts, what she does, how she shows her love for her children. I do not know if I would be up to the task.  
  
The breeze is back and a cloud veils the moon, throwing the garden into shadow. My dark thoughts return, and I try to ward them off, not wishing to know of them in these times. Such times as these should not be filled with saddened memories. They should be of happiness that is right now, that everything seems brighter in the future. But one cannot build a future by leaving the past behind.  
  
I breathe in the smell again and am reminded of the stories my mother would tell me before I went to sleep. She would tell me about the history of Rohan, and then some ones she would make up. I always wanted to hear of a brave woman, riding in to battle or fighting for whom she loved. My mother would laugh sometimes if she used the same story again, and I told her she did. Then, once we had laughed and the story was over, she would kiss me on the forehead and slowly walk out of the room while I drifted off to sleep. When there were thunderstorms, she would sing me to sleep, or let me come into her and father's bed for the night. Éomer would join us, with the excuse that he was making sure that I was safe. Then my mother would sing to all of us, and we would all fall asleep to the sound of her words mingled with the rain.  
  
Could I be like this? Could I be like my mother? Of what I remember, could it be enough to learn from? In all my memories she has had all the answers, even known the questions. I wish for her to be here, to tell me what I should do and what I should not. I wish to be able to ask her how she raised us, how we learn right from wrong and how to teach it.  
  
I wonder if these thoughts are even natural. Could this worry be what all girls think when they find out they will be mothers themselves. It is exciting, frightening, and wonderful all at once. I have not told anyone yet, just I and the healer who confirmed it know. How do I say this to Faramir? Express my happiness and my fear.  
  
I hear footsteps behind me, and immediately know who it is. I had told one of the servants that I would be here, and if Faramir would come looking to tell him that.  
  
I decide to ask the same question of him that I have been asking myself, am I ready and will I be a good at being a parent. It will be a very abrupt and strange question, but I wish to know if I am alone in my fears.  
  
"Faramir, what kind of father do you think you will be?" The question even sounds strange to me. I hold my breath, waiting for an answer that might help me feel like I am not alone.  
  
"What a question, my love, I wish I knew the answer. I hope to be a good one, I know what not to do though." His voice became softer as the words were spoken. Slowly he walked over and wrapped his arm around my waist. I feel comforted, that I am not the only one with doubts. But, I had no one that was like a mother to me for years, while he had his brother, who was more protecting than his father. How should I speak the words that will make us both joyous? How should I say the reason behind the question? I shiver in the night.  
  
"My love, are you all right? You're shivering and were faint earlier today. Are you feeling ill? If you are we should go inside and tomorrow see the healers." Worry was on his face as he anxiously spoke the words, searching for sighs that I was ill.  
  
"I went to see them earlier today. I am not ill." It was not a lie, just not the entire truth. I did not want to speak it; all the emotions that came with the words were too much. But they had to be said. Before Faramir could say another word, I spoke again. "I am with child. That is why I was faint, not illness." I held my breath, waiting for a reply. What if it was unexpected, that he truly was not ready for this? Not yet anyway. My eyes met his, and silence reigned for what seemed an eternity.  
  
"You're with child? Oh Éowyn!" A smile light up his face and he picked me up and spun me around. Once he set me back to the ground, he kissed me with as much passion as on the walls of Minas Tirith. My fears fade into the night, as I take the breath that I was holding. I cannot help but smile as well.  
  
The thoughts that rush through my head seem clouded and jumbled. I am not alone in my feelings; we will go through this together. Trying steps that will be new to both of us. If either have any doubts, the other will be there to make sure that the other will not fall, that we will not be alone and can confine our fears to each other.

* * *

A/N: What did you think? I am going to respond to every review on this so leave an email address or sign in to review. That is, if you want a response. And please review. Oh for the election: I am sad, Bush won and Kerry was a pansy and consided. 


	2. Out of Darkness, Into the Light

**A/N**: I literally started writing this chapter last weekend when I was taking the SATs. I mean it. A MONTH UNTIL ROTK EXTENED EDITION COMES OUT.

**Disclaimer**: Don't own them.

* * *

The dawn greets the room with a golden light that promises a new, bright day. I softly curse the first lights of day and wake reluctantly. For the first time I was not awaken form the cries of my son. Though I know that when I was awoken by his cries, that he would want to be held or feed and that it was reassuring that he was even making the sounds. Even though I wished to sleep, I had to make sure he was comfortable. Each time I woke up to the cries of my son, Faramir would stir, though not awake each time. In time I know that at some points he will be able to be the only one to wake and comfort him, or that I would be and he would need to sleep. 

Faramir stirs beside me, looking so peaceful in the morning. I looked to the other side of me and see the new addition to the room, a bassinet. Inside, sleeping, is my child, and with the new light he will not be sleeping for long. I know I should move, should get up and be ready when his first cries greet the morning, but my energy is spent. With the little amount of sleep I received, my limbs will not yield to my commands. A great responsibility has been placed in my arms. A tiny life that will want my attention and my care. I hear a faint whimper from the bassinet and know that now is the time to get up. Faramir moves as I leave the bed, and discovers that it is morning.

I pick up my son, his little eyes opening in the light of the morn. The whimper returns, though his little eyes close again and he returns to sleep while I rock him in my arms. He looks so small, though so perfect. Faramir puts his hand on my shoulder, and I jump. I sometimes do not hear his silent footsteps, though at other times they are loud and clear.

As if knowing that his father has come to see him, Elboron wakes again and this time his whimpers turn to cries. Elboron, my enduring star, our enduring star. Your little mouth can let out a scream that is defining. On your head is tuffs of dark hair and your eyes are a blue that is not quiet mine nor near to the gray of your father's.

Faramir moves back, as if this was his doing, and has a hurt look on his face. We still know not what makes you cry out, or why you chose a time to do so.

"It is not you that made him cry." I say as I sit to feed him. "He just wants his breakfast." I say smiling down at my son and then at Faramir.

"Are you sure?" Faramir asks anxiously, a pleading look on his face.

"Yes I am sure, love. He would have awakened even if you had not."

"Today is when he is to be announced to the city. Though the people know that you have given me a son, his name is told today. Are you ready to show him?" Faramir asks, though I know all this. I know this is a big day, for us and for Gondor, for their favorite son has a son of his own now.

We came to Minas Tirith for his birth. It is late summer, and early for us to be in the city. Our winters are spent here, for traveling in the snow, even between here and Emyn Arnen, takes longer than it should and can become dangerous very quickly.

"I know all of this, are you nervous about this Faramir?" I ask as I shift Elboron in my arms.

"A little." He comes over and kisses me before going to get dressed.

The golden light fades from the room, as Elboron has his breakfast. I sense him finish and move so as to replace my nightgown on my shoulder. I grab the piece of cloth that I use to help me burp him. Faramir comes into the room as I begin to situate Elboron for this.

"Let me Éowyn." He says as he talks him from my arms. I place the cloth on his shoulder now, and go to get dressed myself. Finding one of the more elegant gowns I have, I get dressed.

The sight that meets my eyes as I emerge form my closet is one that I believe I will treasure for all of my days. Faramir stands moving slightly, softly patting Elboron's back. Elboron's little head rests on his shoulder, his little eyes closed, asleep in his arms. It is my turn to come up behind them.

"I think that he maybe asleep. And that you should go and make sure that everything is ready. Do you think that he will be all right outside?" I ask, worry displaying itself across my face. Still so little, I do not want anything to happen to him. How naturally this worry comes, where I had thoughts that it would not.

"He will be fine, just keep a blanket around him. I know that you worry and so do I." He kisses me as leaves, sometimes I think his paperwork is never done.

It begins to rain as the day passes. The sky grows grayer and the rain pounds the ground. Maybe this is not meant to be. That he is not meant to see these people. Thoughts that have been in the back of my mind come to the surface.

I know that infants can die, that it is not uncommon for them to do so, though I can not believe that mine will. The storm seems to say otherwise, thundering down upon the city. He will not go out today, he will stay with me. As the storm progresses, the closer I hold him to body, protecting him from the world around you. Only a week into the world and I can not think of life without him.

I get word that his big day is postponed until the sun shines, if it does this day, or till tomorrow. I sit in my room, not wanting to see the outside world. The storm seems to lessen, though I do not notice. I clutch Elboron closely to my heart; a tear silently escapes my eye. It lands on his nose and he begins to sniffle, so I rock him in my arms looking down and only the worst thoughts in my mind.

Faramir finds us like this, my single tear turning into multiple, silently streaming down my face. Faramir comes over and kneels next to the chair in which I sit. He puts his arm protectively around me.

"What is wrong, my love? Is there something wrong with Elboron?" His voice quiets at the last part, as if sensing my thoughts.

"Nay, I just do not like the storm, and on today of all days." Do I confide what I think the storm means? I should, knowing that he will not think me silly. "What if this storm is an omen? That Elboron will not..." My voice trails off, not wishing to voice what my heart does not wish to know of.

"The storm has past, Éowyn. If it means anything, it is that now we have light in ours lives. Look out the window." Out the window, it seems dawn as come again. The light is the same color. Everything seems to have this color. Life has been brought back to the world that seemed to be in darkness.

"Come Éowyn, are you ready?" Faramir stands and I take his hand. We walk through the halls to meet the King before the doors that open to the courtyard that holds as many people as it will allow. All to see my child, to know that he lives.

Out into the light we journey, and for a second it does seem as the sun has just peaked over the horizon, though it will so be time of it to set. In the sky there are clouds of gray, though now lightened to a pale gold. And this light is shines on us, breaking the darkness.

"Here is Elboron, son of Lord Faramir and Lady Éowyn, Prince and Princess of Ithilien. May he have a long and blessed life in these days of peace." Aragorn pronounces to the crowd. Cheers erupt from the crowd as the sky turns a rose color and makes even the blue sky above seem to be rose tinted. We do not walk to greet the people, they come and offer congratulations or to wish him a long life.

Yes, my son, my you have a long life and live in these new days and never know of the darkness.

* * *

**A/N**: What do you think? Please review.

**Responses**:

**Evanescent Dawn**: The responses did happen, in the form of another chapter. Thanks for the review. Hehehe, hinting is fun.

**Spider**: Thanks for the compliment. Anyway, I really think that we need to start planning how to take over Middle Earth, again, soon. Rum and flaming arrows still good? Maybe flaming balls that roll down hills as well?

**Merrymagic26**: Thanks for the review. And I know that I have my own opinion and you have yours. And thanks for the encouragement.

**Raksha the Demon**: Well here is a continuation. At least I hope it is not to far ahead to not be one. Thanks for the review. Your response does not bother me, none of them do. You win some; you lose some, that's how all of life is. I got over it pretty fast, though one of my friends and my crazy AP government teacher have yet too. And next time I get to vote! Stupid 18th birthday being in December.

**FoolishlyBraveDarkStar**: Thanks for the review! I like Éowyn too. Maybe she would be a better president than either candidate. Well, some people vote with there consciences I guess, and Kerry didn't play to that. At least next time he can't run again.

**Caroly**: Thanks for the review. I really did try to go into the psychological side of her, since I am taking psychology right now and we have been going over personalities. Ok, I think that your review may have been the longest one I have ever gotten. First: thank you for taking the time to write it. Second: Yes everything seemed to be against him, and we live in a divided country anyway, so it was good of him to stop, I guess. Ah, hindsight bias is setting in. Anyway, another thing, I have looked at Gore vs. Bush and it is very long and takes away states rights, which I believe Republicans support. Anyway, sorry government teacher talking for a moment. I do remember the election of 2000 very clearly; I mean it was only four years ago and I remember all the issues and everyone having an opinion about it. Your in law school? I was looking into being a lawyer for awhile, what is it like? Again thanks for the review.

**Dimfuin**: Thanks for the review. And lawyers determined the last presidential election. But at least he did it gracefully. And there is nothing else to say, except that people support who they support, and that they should stand for what they believe in.

**TheDaughterofKings**: I also love Faramir/Éowyn stories! Yeah, I know I do that sometimes, with the describing everything, and then using a line like that. I think it is to show that they are wrapped in their thoughts. Thanks for the review.

**lotr**: Thanks for the review! And, yes ROTK is my favorite book/movie!

**A/N**: Wow those took a long time. And I hope I didn't just offend anyone. I really hope I didn't. Again, thanks to everyone who reviewed, it is greatly appreciated. And my spelling is horrible so excuse any mistakes in the responses.


End file.
